It has been a busy few weeks! I have started a new job, which is awesome. And as I’ve been healing my mind feels more like my own. I can actually translate my words into ink once more. I’ve been writing and brainstorming and have so many wonderful ideas about how my stories connect with one another. I have to steal time where I can to finish typing up the next BTS book and am almost finished. Then will come the dreaded edits. Alas if I am able to keep on this strange little schedule I’ve devised the next book should be published early next year. I am still having intermittent pain but it is not nearly as bad as it was. My other big project is researching safer ways to take care of my health without sacrificing my mind or my body further down the line. I’m taking it one day at a time right now.
The first word I ever said, was "No", and it's a word that I have been contemplating a lot recently.
I'm finding myself moving into a space of exploring my Dom side- and I am hyper aware of the fact that not everyone feels comfortable all the time with saying No. Since I am seriously contemplating kinky things that would certainly not be everyone's cup of tea, I want to make sure that whoever I do anything like this with is confident in their ability to express their boundaries- both ahead of time, and during any kind of play session.
This troublemaker is the twin of Mark Blue. That makes a lot of sense since they both love to raise hell. Mitchell sports chains hanging from his arms, a rough demeanor, blond hair, and the same black eyes as his brother. He aspires to be just like his abusive father; a wish that seems to clash with his desire to protect Micala (Mark and Mitchell’s other twin) from the bastard. He shows up in the Black Tree series first to wreck havoc on the relationships of the crew. Yet somewhere along the way his hidden love for Michon becomes the only thing that may be able to bring her back to set things right after the others piss her off. MSI’s Kick seems to sum him up just fine.
After my surgery last week I am feeling much better. I am only having small pains and some soreness now. It is so much better than the pain that was driving me insane in the previous months. Now I am rooting for my mother. She just had surgery for an illness that killed another family member earlier this year. I’ll have to get checked for it myself soon. My battle is not over. Yet if my characters can bear the pain and danger and still find happiness then so can I. I haven’t met my quota of finishing the publication of the entire Black Tree series this year. Slowly but surely I will continue publication over the next year. There are four more books to go and then I can start publishing a new series. I’m excited about that. In the meantime I will do more to engage with my health. In my family it is impossible to take for granted. Only my stories are allowed to take me down completely. But my health is worth fighting for, especially when I never asked for any of this.
Thank you for your patience.
I witnessed a conversation with the sister of a boy who had been adopted at the age of 2 years old after being abused by his biological parents. As an adult "he has always been in trouble with the law and has been in jail." Upon hearing this, a deep sorrow enveloped me. I have such empathy for that child, having three of my own adopted at a later age.
So, I seriously get annoyed with some aspects of liberal culture, especially where it intersects with religion. I've written about this before, many times, so I don't need to sat too much (and yet, I will...). But it is a thing which grinds my gears fairly frequently, including today when I found this good criticism of Francis Spufford's article at Salon.com…
The name of my integrated works that stem from The Black Tree series is called The Cuil Effect. Why? Because cuil theory is fantastic and absurd and yet still ties together just like life. I first happened upon cuil theory when a friend posted a link to a video by Roy Kelly that made me laugh harder than anything I’ve ever experienced. If you appreciate cuil theory you might enjoy my stories employing it.
And now a beautiful quote that sums up why I write about painful and weird subjects: Cass: I think the message is Self Acceptance. In everything we’ve done together, and I think a lot of what we did before we met, it was about letting your freak flag fly and finding a space where other people like you can also be unique, original, honest, real. You know, there’s a rebellious streak in that, I don’t think that life is as it seems in the Gap commercial. I think the Gap commercial people have french kissed each other and stuck their fingers up their butts when no ones looking and they are real, real people with real feelings, and I feel like the world is increasingly fake and airbrushed and filtered. I think the more that we can do as individuals to create space for people to be authentic- and so often that equates to weird even though I personally think EVERYBODY’s weird, on the inside- I think that creating space for that and creating examples of that automatically liberates others, like in that wonderful Marianne WIlliamson quote:
“As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”
I began writing to save myself, to explore the world, and to deconstruct everything I could think of. My stories incorporate elements from many different genres. This introduces some difficulty in pinning down which is the most relevant. However I believe the term cuil fiction (I made that I’ll myself) describes it perfectly. Each different book series is a different level of cuil. Each level of cuil is one step further removed from reality. Imagine the experiments and play this opens up in writing! I will write about each series and its cuil level much like I’m picking a song for each of my characters. I will explain how far removed from reality it is and then write an overview of each series.
What makes cuil theory a perfect tool for my writing is that it is integral to the story line itself. The Black Tree series is the trunk of a tree of interconnected works. This also means it has a higher cuil level because it is at the nexus of the event that split the universe. The further away a series is on the tree the lower its cuil level. It’s farther away from the crack in the universe. The closer a series is to the cuil event the higher the level of weirdness. This is why there isn’t much out there like my writing. Though it may seem like many random events occur in each book there is a method to this madness. If all this sounds interesting to you please feel free to check out my books. I currently have over 50 left to publish and a number of others to write so wish me luck. This writing project is one that may take my entire life to finish. In so many ways it is my life. I do have books and plans for books that are not included in The Cuil Effect project but those will come later.
I invite you into the cuilest universe you’ll ever see. I hope to see you there!